THE 411: FREQUENLTY ASKED QUESTIONS
Sections of SAFER+SANER are dedicated to specific leathersex activities and personal safety issues, but we also realize you may have some general questions. Here are some basic frequently asked questions (FAQ) that can help get ya mind going.
WHAT DA FUNK IS LEATHERSEX?
S+S uses the term “leathersex” to refer to kink, fetish, and BDSM related sexual and play practices. These include (but are not limited to) fisting, watersports, nipple play, bondage, dick and ball torture…and a lot more FUNKIN’ HOT SHIT!!! In our definition, leathersex also includes the basics (fuckin’ and suckin’) when they are enhanced with edgier elements like role play, wrestling, verbal dominance, and spanking. Of course, some Bruthas engage in these activities and may not consider themselves Leathermen…and that’s fine. We don’t care if you call yourself leather, kinky, or just PLAIN FUNKIN’ FREAKY…just make sure whatever you do is SAFER, SANER, AND ALL WAYS CONSENSUAL!“
AND ALL WAYS CONSENSUAL”…WHAT DA FUNK R U TALKIN’ ABOUT?”
The term “safe, sane and consensual” (SSC) is credited to slave david stein and was adopted by Gay Male S/M Activists (GMSMA) in 1983 as part of the organization’s statement of identity and purpose. It has been widely accepted by the leather and kink worlds, and interpreted many ways. But, generally the term promotes making safe, healthy choices around sex and play.
We use the term SAFER
because even though there is risk attached to some leathersex activities,
it’s important to practice as safely as possible. And, all parties
need to take the necessary precautions to prevent psychological and physical
damage to themselves and their partner(s).
General SAFER leathersex practices include identifying safe words; keeping a first aid kit available during scenes; and using protective barriers like gloves, dentals dams, finger cots, and latex and polyurethane condoms (with the appropriate lubricants) for intercourse. Various leathersex activities have specific safety guidelines, and many require special skills and SERIOUS FUNKIN’ PRACTICE!
We use the term SANER
because all parties need to be in possession of their mental faculties
and aware of any risks that may be a part of the activity they are about
to experience. We STRONGLY FUNKIN’ RECOMMEND you
do not use alcohol or mind altering drugs (illicit or prescribed) before
or during a scene. Be careful of engaging when your guard is down due
to loneliness, depression, anger, or other emotional states that may impair
your decision making.
Everyone’s self assessment of their own capacities may not always accurate, but we all need to think before we act…and sometimes you are thinking for you and your partner(s). So, the MORE FUNKIN’ TOGETHER you are…the better!
We use the term ALL WAYS CONSENSUAL because leathersex encounters are built on trust, pleasure, and mutual exchange. All partners need to discuss limits and boundaries prior to the beginning of the engagement, and agreements need to be clear and concise! Leathersex is NOT FUNKIN’ RAPE OR ABUSE, and if a scene starts to go there you need to identify a way to GET DA FUNK OUT!
The best leathersex feeds the mind, body, soul, and Spirit. If something is not right for any of those aspects then you should take a moment to regroup. It should be in ALL WAYS an agreement between all partners, and in ALL WAYS FUNKIN’ SATISYING!
AND, WHAT IS DA FUNKIN’
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN KINK, FETISH, and BDSM?
Kink is formally defined as “peculiarity or deviation in sexual behavior or taste”, but that definition most have been created by someone who wasn’t kinky (or didn’t want anyone to know they were)! We think of kink as “added flavor” to the basic taste of sex. Fuckin’ and suckin’ are great, but add a nipple pinch here…and a verbal lash there…and you’ve got the makings for a delicious encounter!
In the sexual context, fetish is most commonly defined as a material object or nonsexual part of the body that arouses sexual desire, and may even become necessary for sexual gratification. But, we also want to bring in an additional perspective. In many cultures of color, fetishes are objects that have magical or spiritual powers. Fetishes are an essential part of ritual and connection; they are not something to be ashamed of…they are to be treasured. Your fetish is your magic…so don’t be afraid to pull it out of your hat!
BDSM may just seem like alphabet soup, but the letters definitely have a powerful meaning, no matter how you put them together! BD (bondage and discipline); DS (domination and submission); and SM (sadomasochism) are all aspects of leathersex. They can be experienced separately, or a combination can be incorporated in one scene.
AM I A FUNKIN’
DOM, sub, TOP, bottom, SWITCH, DADDY, boy, boi…OR WHAT?
There is an almost infinite number of identities available to today’s Leatherman. Some are based on relationship roles (Daddy, boy); some on sexual roles (top, bottom); some on sexual appetite or prowess (pig, stud); and some on physical traits (bear, otter). You can choose to go by none, one, or a combo (versatile Daddy bear). Regardless of your role, it’s important to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN FUNKIN’ SAFETY!!!
Okay, that’s enough to get you started. And if all of this is new, don’t get overwhelmed…you have plenty of time to learn.
Taken from FUNK!